UJ

One week ago today, my family and I sat around a table, eating a delicious Irish stew.
We joked, and laughed. We told stories, and I even showed off my blog.
We were celebrating a birthday.
The birth day of an uncle. A brother. A son. A husband. A father.

Tonight, I sat at that same table, with three small children, playing a board game.
We tried to joke, and laugh...But we couldn't escape the reason that we were there.
We were mourning a tremendous loss.
The loss of an uncle. A brother. A son. A husband. A father.

These kids were so brave. So strong even though they knew their daddy was gone.
It broke my heart to imagine their life without him.

When I got home tonight, every single thing my husband and I did, made me think of those kids.
I couldn't help but feel guilty.
We brought our daughter inside. Fed her dinner. Changed her into pajamas. Read her a book. Said our prayers. Kissed her good night.
We came home and just went on with what we needed to do.
But what about those babies?
And what about their mom?
And his mom?
What will they do tonight?
Their daddy isn't there to bring them in from the car, or read them a book.
Her sweetheart isn't there to lie next her, and kiss her good night.
Her baby boy isn't there to talk with her or give her a hug.

How can I do anything? How can I just go on with my day - knowing that they are just there - wishing he was still with them?

My heart aches for them. My tears are for them. My sadness is for their loss.
But him, I know he has moved on to a much better place. A place without pain, or needles, or oxygen tanks, or medication.
A beautiful place where he can watch over us, and help us, but mostly, he can rest in peace.

Rest in peace UJ.